Bite-sized Blog: 7 Myths Single Women Believe

2 Apr

Today’s Bite-sized Blog comes from “The Seven Myths Single Women Believe” by Suzanna Hadly

If you are around women for any length of time, you will realize that there are plenty things we are taught to believe about singleness. However, not all of these things are true. This blog covered the top 7 myths that single women believe, and I couldn’t agree with them more. I myself have fallen victim to believe these lies, and I know many of you probably have too.  The enemy uses these lies to discourage us and leave us feeling lonely and defeated. If you live believing these lies, they can be destructive to your life and relationships. Let’s acknowledge them and start to change our thinking.

And the 7 most deadly myths are…

1. God will give me a husband when I’m ready

Not true. Finding a mate is not based on our own righteousness. Many women believe that if they just obtain a certain level spiritually, that it will somehow makes them ready for marriage. All of us are sinners and must constantly rely on God, whether we are single or married.

“Being in a single state may or may not have anything to do with your readiness. It likely has more to do with God’s timing. If you are daily allowing the Lord to mold you into His image, you are probably ready to be in a Christ-centered relationship.”

2. God views me more as a useful tool than a beloved child.

Wrong again. Many times you may hear that while you are single, you should maximize those years in service to God. While I believe this is a wise thing to do (Stop Waiting), God isn’t withholding a man from you so that you serve him longer. Psalm 37:4 says, “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires.” God is our loving father and he wants to give us the desires of our hearts. Not only does our Father want to bless us with good things, He knows the perfect time to give us those things.

3. When it’s the right guy, I’ll just know.

Not exactly. In our romanticized culture we are obsessed with the idea of finding “the one” or our “soulmate”. While these things aren’t bad, we often form unrealistic expectations as a result of this.

“In the book I Kissed Dating Goodbye Joshua Harris writes: “Too many couples overspiritualize the decision of whom they marry. Instead of realizing that God leads us by providing wisdom and allowing us to make our own choices, those couples wait for a ‘mystical experience’ that will tell them what to do.”

Don’t wait for a tall dark and handsome man to come sweep you off your feet. If you do, you’ll be waiting forever. Don’t wait for a mystical experience. Don’t over complicate it. Too many girls wait for a guy who meets every criteria they want in a man. I encourage you, give the good, godly men around you a chance (even if they are not the exact height, build or type that you imagined.)

4. When I get married, then my life will begin.

No, no, NO! This in my opinion is one of the worst, most prevalent lies that single women believe. There is nothing wrong with the desire to be a wife and mother. However, it is NOT okay to put your life on hold until then.

“Of the more than 500 references to life in the Bible, none puts marriage as a prerequisite. Jesus said: “I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life” John 5:24. My life started when I believed on Jesus, and it does not hinge on my marital status.”

It may seem that marriage cannot come soon enough, but embrace this time and use it to prepare yourself to be the best mom and wife you can be someday.

5. Marriage will/will not meet my deepest needs.

These are two extremes that women will go to, neither of them being correct. The first is that marriage is the answer that you have been waiting for! A husband is all you need to satisfy your soul’s deepest longings. Wrong.  God created woman for man to cure his loneliness. So while a husband may cure your loneliness, (this is a great thing, something we should be very thankful for!) there are some things that your husband will not be able to satisfy in you. Those are the things that only Jesus can.

So while our marriage cannot satisfy the needs that Jesus can, neither can our relationship with Jesus meet the needs that He intended other humans to satisfy. They go hand in hand. A relationship with Jesus and a husband will satisfy our deepest needs.

Marriage cannot satisfy all of our longings. However, you shouldn’t set your expectations too low. Marriage is an awesome institution created by God. When you put God at the center of your marriage you will experience amazing things.

“As women, we must embrace a balanced understanding of the distinctive roles that Christ and a godly husband should play in our lives.”

6. There must be something wrong with me. If I could just figure out what it is, I could fix it and guys would start showing interest.

In our messed up society, girls are often tricked into thinking that there is something wrong with them. Our society tells us that in order to be attractive, we have to be the right height, weight, and wear the right clothes…right? Wrong. The Bible makes a point to mention that “Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting…” Proverbs 31:30. We cannot rely on beauty alone.

“The things I should be concerned about improving are spiritual in nature. Am I submitting to Christ? Am I manifesting the fruit of the Spirit? Do I have a gentle and quiet spirit? The right kind of man will be attracted to these qualities.”

7. The older I get, the less likely it is that I will find someone.

If this is something you struggle with believing, I challenge you to examine your view of God. Do you think God’s ability to bring you a mate is limited by the number of years you’ve been on earth? Do you think that he forgot about you? He didn’t. God is working in ways that you will never know. If I can get one thing across to you, it is that His timing is PERFECT. We may never know why or how, but it is.

“As you cultivate godly attitudes and avoid damaging lies, you allow the Lord to pour out the things He has for you. That way, when the right guy comes along, you’ll be ready.”

 

Stop believing the lies. Don’t allow them to leave you hopeless anymore. Remember, loneliness isn’t a destination; it’s just a place you pass through.

 

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