Bite-Sized Blog: The Man-Boy Epidemic

6 Feb

This segment is a little thing a like to call a bite-sized blog. If you’re not a big reader or you are super busy, you probably don’t spend a lot of time reading long blogs. The good news is, I do! I admit, some blogs can be rather lengthy, but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t worth reading. This is a segment where I read a blog for you and give you the main points. Hopefully you can still get something out of it, without having to read the whole thing! If you like what you read or want to know more, check out the entire blog below. 

Today’s bite-sized blog comes from “Real Women Don’t Text Back: How Women Fuel the Man-Boy Problem” by Ruthie Dean.

“Where have all the good men gone?” This is a popular question asked by women, particularly those who have been in the dating scene for a significant amount of time with no success.

Recently, women have made great strides in education and career achievements. At the same time, it seems as though men are becoming increasingly more immature and living in a state of prolonged adolescence revolving around alcohol, porn, and video games.

“The former cultural standards of marriage for sex and children have changed drastically in the past 50 years as one-night stands are celebrated and single parenthood accepted.”

Sorry ladies, but we are part of the problem by deeming this kind of behavior acceptable.

One way we condone this behavior is by failing to set high standards for ourselves, standards God desires for us. We are accepting these men who are less than God’s best for us, and frankly they are hardly even men.

“I’ve seen it too many times—brilliant, accomplished, God-fearing women making excuses for the players and the deadbeats and the guys who aren’t interested in anything more than sex.”

A lot of us have been in this situation. We trade in God’s best for us in the long run for a cheap substitute to cure our loneliness for a short time. It’s not worth it. It’s time to raise our standards.

“The arguably most dangerous way women are contributing to the man-boy problem is in regards to sex. Oftentimes, women, including Christians, go further physically than they want to, hoping that their prowess will help them ‘catch a man’ when in fact, the opposite happens. Sex gives men the benefits without the promise of commitment and fidelity. Sure, there won’t be as many guys lining up to date you, but marriage will be a different story. Keeping the highest sexual purity standards will ensure he isn’t dating you just because he likes seeing you naked—and keep his intentions honorable.”

The quicker sex enters a relationship, the sooner the relationship fails. Keep sex out of the equation while you are dating. First, because God’s standard is sex only in marriage. Any sex happening out of marriage is sin. Second, if you make it clear that you plan on waiting to have sex till marriage, it will weed out the guys who are only interested in you for that reason. Trust me, some will run as fast as they can once they hear that!

“Lowering your standards will never change a man—and almost all of these “I can change him” situations result in him changing you.”

Another popular excuse among Christian girls for dating less than Christian guys is that they want to help them or change them. To put it briefly: it doesn’t work. God can change and save men, we cant. Dragging him to church and smothering him with your prayers needs to stop before God can actually move in his heart. If you’re with a guy who is far from being the man of God you want and you really care about him, dump him. It is what’s best for the both of you.

“The current dating scene is hard—but it is not hopeless. I know many women who waited patiently and are now walking arm in arm with honorable, godly men. In the meantime, keep pursuing your own interests and building God’s kingdom, whether or not a husband is on the horizon.”

If you are single and looking for Mr. Right, don’t get discouraged by all the Mr. Wrongs. Keep your head up and your standards high. What you feel like you are missing in your dating life will be made up for in your marriage. Maximize your single years for God and focus on becoming the person who you’re looking for is looking for.

Think about it…

Do you think women contribute to the “man-boy” problem?

If so, What do you think we can do to stop encouraging this kind of behavior?

 

 

2 Responses to “Bite-Sized Blog: The Man-Boy Epidemic”

  1. MC February 6, 2012 at 11:26 pm #

    i think the key to this post is in the last sentence of the last quote: “keep pursuing your own interests [...] whether or not a husband is on the horizon”.

    Aimee i love that you are promoting respect and are daring girls to learn to love and respect themselves first and then find love. I also think it’s good to note that along with respect we should also be praising strength, individuality, and independence; that a man/woman and marriage is ultimately beautiful, but not necessary to feel validated as a woman nor should be it a priority as a young girl trying to find herself. You should always feel proud to be a lady no matter what and let your femininity flow freely!

    now do i think that ladies contribute to the “man-boy problem”? I’m not sure! This IS a new era of strong independent ladies and i think many many many of us, more than ever, are truly putting ourselves before relationships. so while this is an issue, i notice more and more men stepping up to the plate and wanting to get serious and more and more women realizing that this is their time to be young, independent and shine on their own, almost as if the gender roles have flipped!

  2. grace February 7, 2012 at 3:32 am #

    Guilty :/ I used to spend a lot of time searching for “mr right” now I am trying harder to give God all of that time and more. Thanks for opening my eyes Aimee! :)

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