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Stop the Hop

20 Mar

Stop the Hop
Lately I have been really bothered by a certain expression I have heard many Christians use.  Maybe you have even used it before. I know I have thought it before….

“I’m just not getting anything from church”

Christians often use this phrase to say that the church’s worship no longer excites them, and the pastor’s messages don’t give them goosebumps anymore. They are no longer excited by the church they’re in, so they hop to another one that will make them feel excited again.
Steven Furtick’s blog “Stop the Hop” deals with this very issue. He says,

“One of the things that really troubles me about the church today is the phenomenon of church hopping and church shopping. It’s a consumeristic mindset towards the body of Christ that grieves the heart of God.”

He goes on to say that we as Christians are living in an amazing time with endless possibilities to advance the gospel. We have the ability, resources, and people. What we don’t have is people who are committed to churches so they can be used for their God ordained purposes.

“If this generation doesn’t make the impact it should, it won’t be because it didn’t have the resources. Or even the passion. It will be because it was too busy hopping to different churches to stop and commit to one where its resources and passion could actually find an outlet.”

My question is when did the church become about what we can get instead of what we can give? The Church is the body of Christ. We as Christians are supposed to come together to give our time, money, sacrifices, worship, praise, prayers and service to God, all in efforts to advance his Kingdom. Somewhere along the way we got messed up.

“If you’ve fallen into the trap of church hopping, let me encourage you: embrace your place somewhere where God can use you. At the end of your life, God’s not going to be impressed or pleased that you saw what He was doing at ten different churches. He’s going be more pleased that you were a part of what He was doing at one church.”

You will never find the perfect church, so give up looking. If the church you’re visiting doesn’t have what you’re looking for, it might be because God wants you to provide it.

“It’s time for us to stop the hop. This isn’t Christianity. Jesus didn’t die so we could sample different churches like varieties of meat on a party platter. Jesus died to establish His church as the most powerful entity on the planet.”

I encourage you to stop the hop. Find an imperfect church where Jesus is and commit yourself to service there. No one can be part of a move of God while they are church shopping. When you commit yourself to the body of Christ and give of yourself, you will see amazing things happen.



Bite-sized Blog: Principles for dating (Part I)

7 Sep

Bite-sized Blog: Principles for dating (Part I)

Today’s Bite-sized Blog comes from, “For the gals: 8 principles for dating” by Jen Smidt. I thought this blog was awesome! Things all girls can relate to and good things to keep in mind while dating.

1. Repeat after me: “You are loved.”

It seems like such a simple concept, but it’s something we often fail to realize. If you are a Christian, you are a daughter of God.

God says to his daughters in Jeremiah 31:3: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.”

God LOVES his daughters.  Even if you aren’t being pursued by a man right now, Jesus is always pursuing you. You are loved by Him, always.

Until you have tasted God’s eternal, steadfast, redeeming love, hold off on looking for a man. You may just end up settling for a quick love that cannot fill the core of your heart’s longing.

 2.      You are less beautiful that you think and more beautiful than you believe.

No matter how much makeup, tanning, teeth whitening, or dieting we do, none of it can change the fact that beneath all of that… we are ugly. We all have a toxic ugliness caused by our sin, which can only be covered by God’s forgiveness and grace.

It takes a humble, redeemed woman changed by God to admit the ugliness of her sin and rest in her beauty in Christ. We must repent of our pride, our shame, our obsession with our looks.

You see, the point is our inner beauty. What God see’s when He looks at us, not what we see when we look in the mirror.

Our sin makes us ugly. However, Christ can make us beautiful.  There will still be times to admit our struggle with sin, but when we find our identity in Christ we will reflect his beauty.

Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the fear of God.” Proverbs 31:30

 3. Consider what controls you.

Take a look inside of yourself for a minute. What controls you? What are you constantly thinking about? Or even if it is not so obvious, what is deep down that controls what you are thinking about? (For example: if you can’t stop wishing you had a boyfriend, it may be a thought driven by loneliness.)

Is it fear, loneliness, demand for a man, seeking approval, career, money?

These things can take control of our hearts and minds, distracting us from the bigger picture. The bigger picture is that we have a God who gave everything for us and who, even still today, loves us unconditionally.

Don’t settle for less than that. You can search for fulfillment in every job, relationship, and possession that money can buy but you will never find true satisfaction. It is when we delight ourselves in Him that we will be truly satisfied.

Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you your heart’s desires.” Psalm 37:4

 4. Address your “Daddy issues.”

This is something most all of us can relate to. Often, our earthly fathers fail us and fall short of loving us unconditionally.

Whether yours was absent and uninvolved or abusive and abandoning, don’t let him define who you believe your heavenly Father to be.

Whether you have a great dad or the worst dad, it doesn’t change who God is. We all have imperfect earthly fathers. However, we all share a perfect heavenly father.

We have a perfect heavenly Father that loves each one of us perfectly. We do not need to search for a dad-duplicate or dad-replacement in a man. The void we felt left from our earthly fathers can only be filled by our heavenly Father.

Let Scripture reveal to you who God is as Dad and what kind of care He gives his daughters.

And I will be your Father, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.”     2 Corinthians 6:18


I hope you enjoyed this blog as much as I did, Part 2 will be coming soon!




Bite-sized Blog: You probably shouldn’t be dating him if…

12 Apr

Today’s Bite-sized blog comes from “10 Reasons I should not be dating him/her” by Perry Noble.


You probably should not be dating him if…

1.   He is not willing to fight for purity.

In relationships, it is primarily the job of the man to set boundaries regarding physical purity. If your man doesn’t, or does but then doesn’t abide by them- this isn’t a good sign. The man should be the protector of your purity. If he isn’t willing to protect your purity before marriage, he won’t be willing to do so after marriage.

2.   He tries to get you to compromise things that God’s Word states clearly.

God’s Word is the manual that should guide our relationships. Once again, if he leads you further away from God and His word before marriage, he will do the same after marriage. Remember: you cannot change him, only the Holy Spirit can.

3.   You are always defending him to the people who know you, love you, and love Jesus.

Love is blind. We can become so smitten with love that we are blind to the obvious truth of who a person really is. Your Godly friends and family have an important role in your relationship because they can see what you often can’t. If you find yourself always defending him to these people, they might be seeing something you can’t.

4.   You hide your relationship from people because you suspect they may disapprove.

When you feel like you have to hide parts of your relationship from people, you need to stop and ask yourself why. When you hide it, you are eliminating the chance for Godly people to speak truth into it.

5.   You know the relationship has no future.

Many girls will hang on to dead-end relationships simply because they feel who they’re with is better than being alone. This shows that your identity is in who you are dating, rather than in Christ.

6.   You find out he is lying to you.

If he lies to you before marriage, he will lie to you after marriage. If you find this out, do not ignore it.

7.   You can’t confront him about issues without him losing his temper.

If your relationship has any future at all, you will need to learn how to overcome and communicate on issues. If he is incapable of this, it is a bad indicator for the future.

8.   You discover he is unfaithful to you.

You are a prize and worthy to be cherished and honored. If a man cannot remain faithful to you he does not deserve to waste one more minute of your time.

9.   There is something about him that drives you absolutely insane.

I’m talking about more than a pet peeve here. They are what I like to call “deal breakers”. It is something that you absolutely cannot get past. Often times people ignore problems and convince themselves that after marriage it will go away… it won’t. In fact it will probably become larger.

10. You constantly feel God leading you to end the relationship.

Many girls are too afraid to “hurt his feelings” or afraid they won’t get a chance at another relationship. Stop making excuses. Obey God.


If you can relate to 1, or 2, or 3, or 4 of these points… I challenge to you take a closer look at your relationship. You shouldn’t have to defend or make excuses for the guy you’re dating. You should be confident and proud of him. Maybe God is leading you to end this relationship because he has better things in store for you.

If you are a daughter of God, you are a princess. You deserve to have a prince who treats you like one.



Bite-sized Blog: 7 Myths Single Women Believe

2 Apr

Bite-sized Blog: 7 Myths Single Women Believe

Today’s Bite-sized Blog comes from “The Seven Myths Single Women Believe” by Suzanna Hadly

If you are around women for any length of time, you will realize that there are plenty things we are taught to believe about singleness. However, not all of these things are true. This blog covered the top 7 myths that single women believe, and I couldn’t agree with them more. I myself have fallen victim to believe these lies, and I know many of you probably have too.  The enemy uses these lies to discourage us and leave us feeling lonely and defeated. If you live believing these lies, they can be destructive to your life and relationships. Let’s acknowledge them and start to change our thinking.

And the 7 most deadly myths are…

1. God will give me a husband when I’m ready

Not true. Finding a mate is not based on our own righteousness. Many women believe that if they just obtain a certain level spiritually, that it will somehow makes them ready for marriage. All of us are sinners and must constantly rely on God, whether we are single or married.

“Being in a single state may or may not have anything to do with your readiness. It likely has more to do with God’s timing. If you are daily allowing the Lord to mold you into His image, you are probably ready to be in a Christ-centered relationship.”

2. God views me more as a useful tool than a beloved child.

Wrong again. Many times you may hear that while you are single, you should maximize those years in service to God. While I believe this is a wise thing to do (Stop Waiting), God isn’t withholding a man from you so that you serve him longer. Psalm 37:4 says, “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires.” God is our loving father and he wants to give us the desires of our hearts. Not only does our Father want to bless us with good things, He knows the perfect time to give us those things.

3. When it’s the right guy, I’ll just know.

Not exactly. In our romanticized culture we are obsessed with the idea of finding “the one” or our “soulmate”. While these things aren’t bad, we often form unrealistic expectations as a result of this.

“In the book I Kissed Dating Goodbye Joshua Harris writes: “Too many couples overspiritualize the decision of whom they marry. Instead of realizing that God leads us by providing wisdom and allowing us to make our own choices, those couples wait for a ‘mystical experience’ that will tell them what to do.”

Don’t wait for a tall dark and handsome man to come sweep you off your feet. If you do, you’ll be waiting forever. Don’t wait for a mystical experience. Don’t over complicate it. Too many girls wait for a guy who meets every criteria they want in a man. I encourage you, give the good, godly men around you a chance (even if they are not the exact height, build or type that you imagined.)

4. When I get married, then my life will begin.

No, no, NO! This in my opinion is one of the worst, most prevalent lies that single women believe. There is nothing wrong with the desire to be a wife and mother. However, it is NOT okay to put your life on hold until then.

“Of the more than 500 references to life in the Bible, none puts marriage as a prerequisite. Jesus said: “I tell you the truth, whoever hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not be condemned; he has crossed over from death to life” John 5:24. My life started when I believed on Jesus, and it does not hinge on my marital status.”

It may seem that marriage cannot come soon enough, but embrace this time and use it to prepare yourself to be the best mom and wife you can be someday.

5. Marriage will/will not meet my deepest needs.

These are two extremes that women will go to, neither of them being correct. The first is that marriage is the answer that you have been waiting for! A husband is all you need to satisfy your soul’s deepest longings. Wrong.  God created woman for man to cure his loneliness. So while a husband may cure your loneliness, (this is a great thing, something we should be very thankful for!) there are some things that your husband will not be able to satisfy in you. Those are the things that only Jesus can.

So while our marriage cannot satisfy the needs that Jesus can, neither can our relationship with Jesus meet the needs that He intended other humans to satisfy. They go hand in hand. A relationship with Jesus and a husband will satisfy our deepest needs.

Marriage cannot satisfy all of our longings. However, you shouldn’t set your expectations too low. Marriage is an awesome institution created by God. When you put God at the center of your marriage you will experience amazing things.

“As women, we must embrace a balanced understanding of the distinctive roles that Christ and a godly husband should play in our lives.”

6. There must be something wrong with me. If I could just figure out what it is, I could fix it and guys would start showing interest.

In our messed up society, girls are often tricked into thinking that there is something wrong with them. Our society tells us that in order to be attractive, we have to be the right height, weight, and wear the right clothes…right? Wrong. The Bible makes a point to mention that “Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting…” Proverbs 31:30. We cannot rely on beauty alone.

“The things I should be concerned about improving are spiritual in nature. Am I submitting to Christ? Am I manifesting the fruit of the Spirit? Do I have a gentle and quiet spirit? The right kind of man will be attracted to these qualities.”

7. The older I get, the less likely it is that I will find someone.

If this is something you struggle with believing, I challenge you to examine your view of God. Do you think God’s ability to bring you a mate is limited by the number of years you’ve been on earth? Do you think that he forgot about you? He didn’t. God is working in ways that you will never know. If I can get one thing across to you, it is that His timing is PERFECT. We may never know why or how, but it is.

“As you cultivate godly attitudes and avoid damaging lies, you allow the Lord to pour out the things He has for you. That way, when the right guy comes along, you’ll be ready.”


Stop believing the lies. Don’t allow them to leave you hopeless anymore. Remember, loneliness isn’t a destination; it’s just a place you pass through.


Bite-sized Blog: Are you a coward?

21 Mar

Bite-sized Blog: Are you a coward?

Today’s Bite-sized Blog comes from “Calling All Cowards” by Mark Driscoll.

For most Christians, sharing our faith with others is not the easiest thing in the world. Most of us struggle, whether it be inviting someone to church or actually telling someone about Jesus. But it’s not because we don’t want to tell others about Jesus, it’s because we are cowards.

“There are many reasons why this the case, but I believe it typically boils down to one issue: fear of man, which is a form of idolatry. When we fear people more than we fear God, our behavior will be motivated by what others think and say about us, not the glory and enjoyment of God.”

The reason why we sometimes hold back is because we are afraid of the reaction we might get. Talking about Jesus could evoke anger, could get us ridiculed, or it could change the relationship between us and others. Do you see what all these things are motivated by? We want to be liked by people. We hold back because we are afraid of men. If we weren’t, we would have no problem sharing with anyone and everyone

“When this happens, we have allowed someone other than Jesus to sit upon the throne over our life. We want to please and appease them, which means we end up worshiping them instead of Jesus. This is idolatry.”

It might not seem that bad on the surface, but by keeping quiet about Jesus we are showing that what man thinks of us is more important than what He thinks of us.

I know this is something that many of us struggle with. If this is something you struggle with specifically, don’t worry. There is hope.

“God hasn’t left us on our own. He didn’t even give us a Twelve-Step program to overcome our fears. No. He did something much deeper and permanent than that: he promised to transform us into courageous witnesses for Jesus from the inside out.”

The solution isn’t to just all the sudden start trying to invite everyone you know to church. It is deeper than that. We must be transformed. Jesus will transform us into bold witnesses for Him, through the Holy Spirit.

“Becoming a courageous witness is not based upon our natural strength or abilities, but rather a supernatural strength provided by the Holy Spirit.”

I used to think that I just wasn’t one of those people who could talk to others about Jesus so boldly and naturally. But that is giving humans too much credit. It is the Holy Spirit that gives us boldness. If you want to overcome your cowardice and speak boldly about Jesus, He is willing to empower you to do so.

“Through faith in Jesus we are forgiven of our sin, empowered by the Holy Spirit to put sin to death, and empowered to be courageous witnesses.”

We are all surrounded by people who need Jesus. I’m sure that there are people in your family, at your school, or at your job that are lost. God has put certain people directly in your life for a reason; so that you can reach them. We have a responsibility to these people. Without Jesus, their souls are headed to hell. We have the answer! We have to let go of our fear and share the answer with those around us. By sharing what Jesus has done for us, peoples’ eternal destinies can be changes.

“Step outside of your comfort zone, acknowledge your cowardice, believe the truth that God wants to save people, and trust the promise of God that you will be empowered by the Holy Spirit to witness for Jesus.”

You won’t know if God has empowered you to be a bold witness unless you try. Step out of our comfort zone, begin to talk about Jesus, and see how Jesus will empower you to speak boldly about him.

“So regardless of how you have denied Jesus with your deeds and words, he is faithful to forgive you and restore you to a vibrant relationship with him as he did Peter. Whether you’ve failed to be identified with Jesus while your friends were mocking him and Christians, or you’ve walked away from him and the church for many years, he is faithful to forgive you of your sins and empower you with the Holy Spirit to live courageously for his glory.”

If you want to tell others about Jesus and be a bold witness for him, I challenge you to do these things:

1.   Ask for forgiveness for your cowardice.

2.   Ask that the Holy Spirit would give you boldness.

3.   Open your mouth.

After you do that, here is an easy first step you can take. Easter is coming up. Step out of your comfort zone and invite someone to church with you. You will be surprised by how painless it will be! Even if you face rejection, don’t be discouraged. Be obedient and tell others about Jesus.


Bite-sized Blog: Perfect for You

8 Mar

Today’s bite-sized blog comes from “Perfect for You” by Steven Furtick.

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2

If you have been around Christians for any amount of time you have probably heard the term “God’s will.” It is a term we use for being exactly where God wants you to be, doing what he wants you to do. People agonize and pray and talk about trying to find this thing called God’s will. But many people have a messed up view of what God’s perfect will for them really looks like.

This blog will focus on the word perfect listed after what God’s will is. Most every Christian can say they want to find God’s will for their lives, however our view of God’s perfect will and God’s view of His perfect will may be a little different.

“We need to clear up what we mean by perfect. Otherwise, we could miss out on God’s will altogether because we’ll be too busy chasing our own daydreams.”

“Our idea of perfect is perfect to us.
A perfect day to you might mean everything is going the way you think it should go.
A perfect marriage to you might be one that’s easy and stress-free.
A perfect job to you might be one where you’re high on the leadership pyramid and banking loads of cash.”

These things are not bad things to want, however they may not be included in God’s plan for you. God’s perfect plan for you is designed to develop you into the person you are meant to be. God can’t always develop you through perfect conditions.

His perfect plan might not look perfect to us, but it will be perfect for us.

“God’s will for Job wasn’t perfect to him. He lost everything. But it was perfect for him. It brought him to a whole new level of faith and positioned him for a double portion of blessing later in his life.”

“God’s will for Joseph wasn’t perfect to him. He landed in slavery and prison for over a decade. But it was perfect for him. Through him, God saved his family and an entire nation.”

“God’s will for Paul probably didn’t seem perfect to anyone. Few men have ever suffered so much for the gospel. But it was perfect for him. Few men have ever spread the gospel so vastly in their lifetime.”

“God’s will for you might not always seem perfect to you. But trust me, His will is perfect for you.”

The situations you are facing may seem far from perfect. Your job, marriage, health, finances and kids might seem anything but perfect. You might think that there is no way that this is God’s will for you. But think again. God is putting you through situations to develop your character and grow you into the person you were created to be. He lets us go through these situations so we can show His glory like never before.

“His will may not be easy, but it’s perfect for you.”

If you look at your life and think: There’s no way I’m in God’s will…my life is too messy, then you might just be exactly in his perfect will.


“God’s will for you might not always seem perfect to you. But, His will is perfect for you.”



Bite-sized Blog: How to respect your husband

29 Feb

I realize that many of the girls who will read this aren’t married. Also, I am not married, so why would I post a blog about respecting your husband? I am posting it because I think it’s good to think about BEFORE you get married. Obviously marriages are hard work and many couples don’t make it. I think that it’s a good idea to put some things into practice before we have husbands, rather than trying to fix bad habits after marriage. A lot of our bad habits are evident in the way we treat our friends, family, or boyfriends. It is better to identify those things now, rather than trying to fix them later. If you are married, I hope this is beneficial and encouraging to you. But if you aren’t, I hope that this opens your mind to the qualities of an honorable wife and I hope that it gives you a picture to strive for.

Today’s bite-sized blog comes from “What Does It Mean to Respect Your Husband?” by Grace Driscoll.

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. -Ephesians 5:33

A vital ingredient for a healthy marriage is respect. As women we are specifically called to respect our husbands. This is neither degrading nor an easy task, but it should give us a sense of purpose and importance. We were created to help and respect our husbands.

“Men and women were created with equal worth but different roles. Though men are not exempt from respecting their wives, God created the woman to help and respect her husband.”

The Bible offers many principles about respect. However, it does not give many specific methods. In this article, Grace gives practical advice on ways to respect your husband with support from Biblical principles.

“Respect starts in our heads, and includes our mind and thoughts. Disrespect also starts in our heads and can over time affect our hearts and hands.”

Disrespect starts when you think things about your husband such as: I could’ve done it better, that was such a stupid mistake, or He’s not a good leader, etc. What you think will eventually lead to words and actions of disrespect toward your husband.

“Begin developing new habits of biblical thinking by being thankful for your husband’s gifts and strengths, rather than being bitter about his weaknesses and shortcomings.”

No husband is perfect and there will definitely be times of frustration and disappointment. But God doesn’t say respect your husband when he makes good decisions! He says respect your husband. Period. This means even when you’re not happy and even when he makes mistakes, he deserves your respect.

Our hearts are another source of our true feelings towards our husbands. If you disrespect your husband in your heart, your mouth will follow. Likewise, if you respect your husband in your heart, your mouth will follow.

“When you talk about him in public or with others do you tear him down or build him up? Are you careful not to gossip about him, or do you freely share your issues with others? Are you a wife who criticizes, contradicts, or sneers at your husband? Do you do this in front of other people? Do you “joke” about his lack of abilities or his way of doing things? Do you cut him down in front of the kids?”

I think this is a huge point that is usually overlooked. Our society tells that it’s acceptable for us women to get together and talk about all of our husband’s failures and flaws. This benefits no one. You might feel like you need to “vent”, but when you speak these words against your husband your disrespect and bitterness will grow, especially when others encourage you in your sin. When you speak badly in front of your kids they see that you really don’t respect him as the leader of your house and this creates division. Make a priority to only speak well of your husband to others and to your kids.

(This is not to say that if something is seriously wrong, you should ignore it. If there is a situation of verbal or physical abuse it is appropriate to be honest and get help.)

“Also, it’s important to remember that we don’t change our husbands—the Holy Spirit does! Use your words to pray for and help him instead of belittling him. Use your words to pray for yourself that you would practice self-control.”

Instead of going to your girlfriends to complain, try taking it to God. Being bitter and gossiping will never help the situation. However, taking it to God will have powerful results. The Holy Spirit will begin to change your husband and work in his heart when you refrain from gossip and trust in God. Not only will he work in your husband, but he will also work in your own heart and give you the patience you need.

“God created women to be helpers, which is a reflection of his character. God said, “It is not good that man should be alone,” so he created a helper for Adam (Genesis 2:18). It’s important to note that the word “helper” does not denigrate the wife; in fact, God is also referred to as our helper.”

Again, the role of a helper is not demeaning. God is said to be our helper, so we are made in His image to be the same thing that He is for us; for our husbands.

Some practical ways to help and respect our husbands:

1.   Pray for him. “Prayer softens our hearts and our husband’s hearts. If you only pray for him to change, then you won’t see your own sin too. Prayer reminds us of our total dependence upon God.”

2.   Touch him. Physical touch is often very important to men. “Don’t get into a habit of only touching him when he is leaving the house once a day. Rather, learn to enjoy playfulness that leads to deeper intimacy and sex.”

3.   Feed him. Preparing meal for your husband can be an easy way to serve him and show him you love him on a regular basis. If your husband enjoys to cook, that’s great! Take the opportunity to sit down and enjoy it together.

4.   Sacrifice for him. Be unselfish. If your husband enjoys certain activities that aren’t your favorite, do them anyway. For example: Go to baseball games with him, he might come shopping with you.  “The point is to do activities that your husband likes to do and have fun with it, not be disgruntled.”

5.   Take care of your relationship with God. “Grow your relationship with Jesus. If you aren’t getting fed through Bible reading, prayer, and personal repentance, then it will be impossible to know how to serve and respect your husband.”

Trying to respect your husband without Jesus will only lead to failure. He is the only one who can give us the wisdom and strength to carry it out. Before our role as wives, we are followers of Christ and we need to be careful to keep out priorities in proper order.

The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord. –Proverbs 18:22



Bite-sized Blog: Men are Pigs?

16 Feb

This segment is a little thing a like to call a bite-sized blog. If you’re not a big reader or you are super busy, you probably don’t spend a lot of time reading long blogs. The good news is, I do! I admit, some blogs can be rather lengthy, but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t worth reading. This is a segment where I read a blog for you and give you the main points. Hopefully you can still get something out of it, without having to read the whole thing! If you like what you read or want to know more check out the entire blog here:

Today’s bite-sized blog comes from “When Pigs Fly” by Mike Ensly.

 “Men are pigs.”

You can say this pretty much anywhere and get approval. Unfortunately, even Christians have accepted this idea as well. Men are often characterized by their intense sex drive and carnality. This idea has made some men ashamed of their sexuality and some women fearful of it.

Men are taught to just deal with their sexuality and apologize for it. However, this was not how God intended it to be.

“Would it be controversial to say men are supposed to be the way we are? That, despite the sin we struggle with, there is something good and God-like lying dormant in our sexual wiring? To believe that my sexuality is a gift and not a curse, most of the time I feel like I’m hoping against hope.”

God created men, including their sexuality and sex drive.  And contrary to what we have been taught to believe, he didn’t make a mistake! So what was God thinking when He made them the way He did? Are men supposed to be sorry about the way they were created?

Most people would agree that men and women are completely different. The differences in the appearance of our bodies alone are obvious.

However, through our differences, men and woman were created to complement each other. The things that we tend to think are bad about male sexuality are actually ways in which he was created to complement his mate.

For example:  Men are more visually stimulated and emotionally simple that women.

“A man’s body is so utilitarian … a woman’s body is a work of art.”

Male bodies are more functional and women are more beautiful. That’s not to say the male has no beauty or the female lacks function — there’s just a different order of priorities in either design.

There is a desire in women to want to feel beautiful.

“A woman’s soul was made to be sought after and adored, not just her body. Not just her body — meaning it’s still true for her body, even while it’s more true for her heart.”

Men were made with a desire to pursue a woman’s body AND heart, and women were made with the desire to feel valued and beautiful.

Yes, men and women are wired completely different. This is a good thing.

Rather than feeling ashamed or fearful of male or female sexuality, we should embrace our differences with a sense of gratitude and wonder.


What do you think…

Did this change your perspective of male sexuality at all?

Do you agree with what Mike is trying to say or do you still think men are pigs?



Bite-Sized Blog: The Man-Boy Epidemic

6 Feb

Bite-Sized Blog: The Man-Boy Epidemic

This segment is a little thing a like to call a bite-sized blog. If you’re not a big reader or you are super busy, you probably don’t spend a lot of time reading long blogs. The good news is, I do! I admit, some blogs can be rather lengthy, but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t worth reading. This is a segment where I read a blog for you and give you the main points. Hopefully you can still get something out of it, without having to read the whole thing! If you like what you read or want to know more, check out the entire blog below. 

Today’s bite-sized blog comes from “Real Women Don’t Text Back: How Women Fuel the Man-Boy Problem” by Ruthie Dean.

“Where have all the good men gone?” This is a popular question asked by women, particularly those who have been in the dating scene for a significant amount of time with no success.

Recently, women have made great strides in education and career achievements. At the same time, it seems as though men are becoming increasingly more immature and living in a state of prolonged adolescence revolving around alcohol, porn, and video games.

“The former cultural standards of marriage for sex and children have changed drastically in the past 50 years as one-night stands are celebrated and single parenthood accepted.”

Sorry ladies, but we are part of the problem by deeming this kind of behavior acceptable.

One way we condone this behavior is by failing to set high standards for ourselves, standards God desires for us. We are accepting these men who are less than God’s best for us, and frankly they are hardly even men.

“I’ve seen it too many times—brilliant, accomplished, God-fearing women making excuses for the players and the deadbeats and the guys who aren’t interested in anything more than sex.”

A lot of us have been in this situation. We trade in God’s best for us in the long run for a cheap substitute to cure our loneliness for a short time. It’s not worth it. It’s time to raise our standards.

“The arguably most dangerous way women are contributing to the man-boy problem is in regards to sex. Oftentimes, women, including Christians, go further physically than they want to, hoping that their prowess will help them ‘catch a man’ when in fact, the opposite happens. Sex gives men the benefits without the promise of commitment and fidelity. Sure, there won’t be as many guys lining up to date you, but marriage will be a different story. Keeping the highest sexual purity standards will ensure he isn’t dating you just because he likes seeing you naked—and keep his intentions honorable.”

The quicker sex enters a relationship, the sooner the relationship fails. Keep sex out of the equation while you are dating. First, because God’s standard is sex only in marriage. Any sex happening out of marriage is sin. Second, if you make it clear that you plan on waiting to have sex till marriage, it will weed out the guys who are only interested in you for that reason. Trust me, some will run as fast as they can once they hear that!

“Lowering your standards will never change a man—and almost all of these “I can change him” situations result in him changing you.”

Another popular excuse among Christian girls for dating less than Christian guys is that they want to help them or change them. To put it briefly: it doesn’t work. God can change and save men, we cant. Dragging him to church and smothering him with your prayers needs to stop before God can actually move in his heart. If you’re with a guy who is far from being the man of God you want and you really care about him, dump him. It is what’s best for the both of you.

“The current dating scene is hard—but it is not hopeless. I know many women who waited patiently and are now walking arm in arm with honorable, godly men. In the meantime, keep pursuing your own interests and building God’s kingdom, whether or not a husband is on the horizon.”

If you are single and looking for Mr. Right, don’t get discouraged by all the Mr. Wrongs. Keep your head up and your standards high. What you feel like you are missing in your dating life will be made up for in your marriage. Maximize your single years for God and focus on becoming the person who you’re looking for is looking for.

Think about it…

Do you think women contribute to the “man-boy” problem?

If so, What do you think we can do to stop encouraging this kind of behavior?