The Right Questions

26 Mar

This one goes out to the single/dating girls. Specifically, those who are trying to pursue a godly relationship with a man who is a passionate follower of Christ. So many times I’ve seen great Christian girls settle for average “Christian” guys, and sadly the guy’s lack of passion often brings the girl down. Now, there are plenty of situations in which the sexes are reversed, but in this blog I’m specifically going to talk about girls who fall for losers.

Dating is hard. It’s harder when you’re a Christian. You don’t have the option of all the fish in the sea… you have the option of a very small portion of fish in the sea. But the reason it’s even harder is that you have “Christians”… and then you have real Christians. It’s not always easy to tell them apart. I want to try to provide you with some questions that can help you decide if the guy you are interested in, or the one you are going to be interested in, is really what they say they are. There are the right questions to ask… and then there are the wrong ones.

The wrong questions to ask:

Are you a Christian?

In our society, the term “Christian” has lost a lot of its original meaning. The Greek word for “Christian,” is Christianos which literally means “follower of Christ.” What started as meaning literally a follower of Jesus Christ has become a blanket term for 100 other religions that have nothing to do with Christ. Catholics, Protestants, Mormons, and Muslims are all covered under this term “Christian.” It turns out that according to the most recent poll taken in 2012, that 78% of all Americans are “Christian.” Just because someone is “Christian” DOES NOT mean they are a Christ follower. Although 8 out of 10 Americans consider themselves to be “Christian”, a “Christian” is not good enough if you consider yourself to be a follower of Christ.

The right question to ask:

Are you in love with Jesus?

The key to being a real follower of Christ is a personal relationship with Him. It’s not about being a part of a religion. If a man is truly a Christ follower, he will be in love with Jesus. This question should be a no-brainer. However, for someone who is just part of a religion or just part of a Christian church, this one might be a little harder for them to answer. Jesus may have little to no part in their life. You want someone who can answer this without hesitation. A true Christ follower must be in love with Jesus.

The wrong question to ask:

Do you go to church?

43% of American claim to go to church regularly. What “regularly” means is not defined. This could mean every Sunday, once a month, or on holidays. It’s hard to really tell. Just knowing that a person goes to church is not enough to stamp approval on them. There are so many other things that you must take into consideration. What church? How often? Are you involved? Many people go to church in America, but that fact alone is not enough to determine whether someone is truly in love with Jesus.

The right question to ask:

Have you ever been a major part of leading someone to Christ?

If the answer is no, walk away. “No” should not be good enough for you. If you are trying to find a man that will eventually be your husband, the answer has to be yes. If you settle for someone who has never even led another person to Christ, how will he lead your children to Christ? How will he lead you to Christ? The Bible says that the man is the head of the house (Ephesians 5:23), and he must lead his wife and children to closer to Christ. Settling for someone who has never done that will affect the degree of your family’s faith. Seriously, ask this question. If he says no, walk away or tell him to come back when he does. If he says yes, it shows that he actually believes what he says he believes, and that he is capable of leading people closer to Christ.


I challenge you, ask the right questions. To a potential boyfriend or to your current boyfriend. If you ask these questions to your current boyfriend, will you be disappointed?

One last thing I challenge you with. What if your boyfriend or potential boyfriend asked YOU the right questions? What would your answers be? You can’t expect a man to have the right answers if you yourself don’t.


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